Healing empty places in the heart

The laminated placards told the stories of slain spouses and children.

A photograph of Deanna Gayle Taylor-Banks on her wedding day, wearing a white gown that flowed around her, was propped up next to a history of the Hillside woman's life. Banks was murdered six years ago by her estranged husband and buried in a shallow grave in Somerset County.

White sunglasses lay next to the smiling photo of Nicole Ashley Giovanni. The 14-year-old, known as Nikki by her friends, loved competing in gymnastics and track, as well as acting and singing. On Feb. 6, 2005, Giovanni's mother beat her to death as she slept in their Roselle Park home.

Monica Paul's story sat nearby. The 31-year-old mother of two was shot several times at close range as she and her 11-year-old daughter watched her 4-year-old son swim at a Montclair YMCA. The father of her children has been charged with murder.

There were eight stories in all detailing the lives of residents of Union and Essex counties, as well as New York, killed by domestic abusers.

The tales sat near table settings that served as memorials at "An Empty Place at the Table," a domestic violence awareness event sponsored by the YWCA of Eastern Union County in the University Center of Kean University last week. Friends and family members surrounded the narratives of their slain loved ones with tokens from the victims' past.

"It's about healing and raising awareness," said Janice C. Lilien, executive director of the YWCA chapter, who noted that three women die from domestic violence every day.

Monday evening's event aimed to put a local face to that statistic, with the tables settings, as well as theatrical performances.

An anonymous victim read two poems about escaping an abusive relationship.

Lisa Regina, an actress and survivor of domestic violence, performed two monologues chronicling her pain immediately following the attack by her then-fiance, as well as how she moved on.

Creative Interventions, a theater group, put on a performance highlighting a college-age couple's unhealthy relationship.

A candlelight vigil ended the evening, which coincides with the final week of Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

Charley Flint, president of the YWCA of Eastern Union County Board of Directors, said she hopes events such as these will help people realize the pervasive damage domestic violence can cause.

"It impacts all of us," she said. "It's epidemic."

Erin Eileen O'Neill is a reporter with the New Jersey Local News Service. She may be reached at (908) 243-6217 or eoneill@njlns.com.